Jenna : Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
by Isobel Morgan
Summary: Alright, so the title's a bit misleading, but I like to wonder why the characters would decide to stay with Blake and I'm working my way through them! My take on Jenna's motivations.


**Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - Jenna**

"You know, when I first started hearing the reports about Blake, I wasn't surprised to find that you were with him," Avalon said, twisting around on the flight deck couch to look at Jenna.

"I always knew there was more to you than just a smuggler."

"I'm not sure what to make of that," Jenna replied, her voice neutral, making a careful adjustment to the flight controls.

"You might have said no to my offer," Avalon continued. "But I could see that you agreed with what I was saying, at least in principle."

"You didn't really expect me to just drop everything and join you on your crusade though, did you?" Jenna asked, recalling the events that had occurred when she and Avalon had previously met.

"I was doing rather well for myself at the time."

Avalon gave her a wry smile.

"Yes, you were doing very well. Financially at least. I could probably have gotten those communication relays for half the price your lot charged if I'd gone through official channels."

"That's what you pay for employing Free Traders," Jenna replied, with a smile of her own.

"Most of that was hazard pay. It isn't easy getting shipments past the Federation Trade Authorities, you know."

"Yes, I do," Avalon told her, truthfully.

"You might have been doing well financially then, but the people you're working with now have improved."

"I'm not so sure about that," Jenna retorted drily.

"Although it wouldn't take much to improve on some of the people I worked with before. The group I was with when I took on your job were better than my previous 'colleagues'."

"Better?" Avalon repeated in mild disbelief. "Who were you with before them? A troupe of Keranzian snake-worshippers?"

"Close. Amagons."

"Oh. I sympathize. I've had some dealings with Amagons myself."

"Really?" Jenna raised an eyebrow.

Avalon's smile returned.

"Can't always afford to be choosy about whose help you buy when you're trying to start a revolution," she replied. "Of course, if I had this ship at my disposal, I wouldn't have to-"

"Don't start that again," Jenna cut in, but her words were calm, her tone light.

"Blake's right. There's no way we could use Liberator to help you; it's far too conspicuous."

"Do you always agree with Blake?" Avalon challenged.

"Nothing personal, but the atmosphere on this ship isn't the most harmonious I've ever encountered."

Jenna eyed Avalon coolly. The other woman may have been physically unimposing, but her manner was as confrontation as Blake's, if not more so.

"Not always. But he is right a lot of the time."

Avalon fell silent for a moment, selecting her next words with care.

"Why is it you stay with him?" she asked.

"I thought you knew that already. You said you weren't surprised that I was working with him."

"I know, and I wasn't. But that was a judgement on what I saw in you from the first impression. Why Blake? What was it that made you stay with him?"

Jenna paused, considering her answer.

"It's complicated," she replied, surprising herself with her honesty.

"But I owe Blake. If it wasn't for him, I'd be in a very bad situation right now."

She suppressed a shudder at the memory of what she'd seen of Cygnus Alpha - and of the very strong draw of Avon's suggestion that they abandon the others there and fly off, taking the wealth from the strong rooms with them.

She'd never confessed any of that to Blake; didn't want to make him think he couldn't trust her. The thought of the money and the freedom it would have bought her had been a deep temptation, but even then she hadn't been able to escape the thoughts of what consequences her actions would have had.

She didn't count taking the best option to stay alive as selfish, but to have taken the money and run would have been more like stealing from a friend to make yourself richer.

She cut off that thought and turned her attention back to Avalon, who was watching her very closely.

"Why all this interest in me?" she asked, the light tone returning to her voice.

"Surely Blake's the one you should be talking to? Getting as much useful information from each other as you can before we drop you off?"

"There's plenty of time for that," Avalon said with a shrug.

"I'm glad of a little time off to be honest."

"He and Cally have been drilling you somewhat, haven't they?" Jenna sympathised.

"Yes. Now Cally, she is more of what I would expect someone fighting alongside Blake to be like. I will confess I was a little... surprised when I finally met the infamous Blake and his crew."

"Surprised... or disappointed?" Jenna asked, a challenging note in her words.

"No. Not disappointed." Avalon's eyes held Jenna's, unblinking.

"I know I'd be dead if it wasn't for you, or worse. As it was, you didn't just save my life, but the lives of many, many people. You got me out before they could take everything from my head, and you've given me time to warn those whose positions have been compromised. I don't mean to be insulting. People often say exactly the same thing about me when they meet me for the first time."

"I'm sure they do," Jenna replied, letting a smile surface.

She returned her attention to the flight console for a moment, then she stopped.

Putting her hands down flat on top of the console, she confronted Avalon.

"Look, the reason I stay with Blake is because I believe in him. That may not sound like a lot, but to me, it means everything. It's very rare you can find someone you really believe in. There was something about him that I hadn't come across before and that's why I stay with him."

Avalon looked back at Jenna with a satisfied expression, as if what Jenna had just said was what she'd been expecting to hear.

"He's lucky to have you," she said. "Despite what I said about you all, I do envy him this ship and his crew."

Jenna paused.

"I'm sorry your group on the planet were killed. It must be difficult for you, always moving on, never getting to know people or to stay with them."

Avalon made a gesture half-way towards a shrug.

"I'm used to it. I don't like to stay in one place too long anyway and there's so much to be done. It's best if I just stay long enough to start something off and then let it run its course."

"I suppose we're a little like that," Jenna said, thinking out loud more than anything else. "That's what I meant by saying Liberator is too conspicuous. And the six of us are becoming a bit too recognisable too. At least most people don't know what you look like."

"That's true. Or at least it used to be. Even Travis didn't know at first, and if we hadn't been betrayed, he probably wouldn't have found out. Although I suppose by now my picture's being circulated around all the known worlds. I may have to go a bit deeper underground for a while, keep my head down."

"Then it's a good job we're not staying around, isn't it?" Jenna pointed out.

"Having the Liberator hovering above you would be like putting a sign up."

"Alright," Avalon relented. "I can see that. But it doesn't stop me from feeling jealous of what you have at your disposal. It's a constant struggle to equip all the groups I'm responsible for."

"Maybe we can help you with that. Get Vila to show you around the strong rooms before you leave. I'm sure Blake wouldn't begrudge you a few... items if they'd help."

Avalon gave Jenna a quizzical look, but before she could ask anything more, Blake strode back into the flight deck.

"Ah, there you are Avalon. I've been wanting to speak to you..."

Jenna tuned out the rest of his words as he took Avalon by the arm and led her away again, turning back to the flight computers.

Although she found she quite liked Avalon's company, she'd be glad when the other woman had left. Having another 'professional revolutionary' around was making Blake worse than ever; he and Cally together was bad enough.

Finishing her work, Jenna switched the controls to automatic and let her mind turn over the conversation she and Avalon had just had.

Was that the real reason why she stayed on Liberator? What she'd said was true, she really did believe in Blake. Most of the time anyway, as long as he wasn't being too suicidal in his plans. And while it did get a bit tiresome to be constantly following Blake's rigid moral guidelines and Doing The Right Thing, it did feel good to be doing something...worthy. You might even say noble, in comparison to her previous line of work.

Not that she regretted her choices in life. Well... perhaps getting involved with Largo and then getting arrested, but then if that hadn't happened, she wouldn't have gotten involved with Blake and who knows where she'd be now? And besides, it wasn't as if she had to stay. Despite what she'd said to Avalon about being easily recognised, there were always options available to a woman of her talents. But for now, she'd decided on Blake and on Liberator, whatever that meant. She'd just have to find out.


End file.
